My Many Miles

As I said in this blog post, this is my "Many the Miles" story as well as an answer to some of your questions about Mike and my mission, the extra wait time and our story from the beginning, condensed of course. 

We were 12 when we met, we are now 20. It was early into seventh grade and I had just moved so I was the new girl that everyone just assumed went to the “other elementary school” that combined into the Junior High. It was lunch time and another friend walked up to me and announced, “Hey Haley, this is Mike, he has the same birthday as us too!” The rest is history.

            We quickly became best friends. He was one of the first boy best friends I ever had. We were friends but we liked each other, which was obvious to everyone, including each other. However, through the years we had plenty of fights, drama, awkward moments, and so much change. It wasn’t until our senior year of High School that we officially dated. We got to do so many great things together including Prom, and traveling to San Francisco. Then we fell in love, or at least we finally told each other. That was 7 years in the making.

            Throughout our friendship, he had made it clear that he was not interested in serving a mission. This broke my heart but I didn’t push it too much until we graduated high school and both moved out and attended Utah State University. We were 18 and enjoying every second of being together and being at college. However, our next birthday was quickly approaching. I wasn’t very excited for 19 because when exciting things happen when you turn 19? Not much. But I knew that he should have been preparing and getting excited to serve. The topic had been brought up multiple times but each time; I froze when he would say he still was not planning to serve.

            The few months before February were torture. I was constantly worrying, wondering, praying, begging and wishing for him to change his mind. Each time he would confidently say that it just wasn’t for him. Finally I thought to ask why. He explained that he wasn’t going to go because he felt pressured, expected and forced into it. This was two years and he wasn’t going to just give that up if he personally did not want to. My heart broke when he said those things to me. I had never thought about it that way but why did he not feel honored to be able to serve the Lord? How hard was it really, I mean, most everyone we had been friends with were preparing to go, had their calls and were thrilled. What was the difference?

            February 14^th, two days after our 19^th birthday, Mike shared the news with me that he was going to serve. That he was nervous but ready to make that commitment. Then, in a whirlwind and not even 4 months later, he was gone.

            The goodbye process was hard, harder than I could have imagined. The day before he left, we were together while he said some goodbyes, grabbed some last minute necessities and raced around trying to get everything ready. I was never planning on staying through the setting apart and that was for one reason only. The dreaded handshake. I would hug that boy goodbye if it was the last thing I did. But, after some pleading from his parents and him, I agreed to stick around. Boy, was I glad I did. Seeing that boy become a missionary was exactly what I needed. It was the assurance that what was happening was right, hard but exactly right.

            It took probably the summer for me to get back into normalcy after he left. Mostly because all my friends were off, all over the world either on missions themselves or on some summer adventure. The summer was lonely and boring but as soon as I moved back to school things became much easier. I was finally busy, I had other things to think about besides him. My friends were back and there were plenty of opportunities for me to meet new friends. That is the only advice I’d give to the future “waiters.” Just keep busy. Find something you love. Find great friends and stay positive! (I’ve heard they do come back ya know?) School is what did that for me. I was back with my friends who I loved dearly and learned to appreciate them so much more.

            Then the fateful day in all our lives came, October 6, 2012. I was amazed at how quickly the rest of best friends accepted the calling to serve a mission earlier than they had planned. I was so happy for them but how did they just know so quickly? I decided to stick with my previous decision on missions and stay around here. No one was surprised by that decision because I had made it obvious with my friends and family that I had no desire to serve. I convinced myself that just because you could serve now does not mean you have to. You have never wanted to serve before so don’t let an age change make you do it. Still, I felt so much pressure, like everyone almost expected me to go. I wanted it to be my decision because it was a big one, and it was 18 months.

            Then it clicked. I was in Mike’s exact place, not 6 months later than he was. At that moment I wished I had asked so many more questions, had him explain what it felt life, how he dealt with it, everything. I had been too busy wishing he’d change his mind. Which of course he did and look how unbelievably happy he was now. He was so blessed and his life will be forever changed by his decision.

            In January of 2013, I was prompted to serve a mission as well. Mike and I had the same experience with the pressure of deciding and the unexpected prompting. He had been my guinea pig, if you will, with the situation. I watched him struggle. I struggled. I pressured him. I was pressured. He was prompted to serve. I was prompted to serve.

            Now he has been serving in the Kennewck, Washington mission for almost 10 months. We write letters frequently and email on Mondays. Our letters are mostly casual except recently as we have been talking about my service much more. He gives me advice and shares stories with me. I continue to tell him how great he is, celebrate his success with him and help him stay positive.  I visit his loving family when I am home from school, but keep in touch with them while I’m away. Mike and I are still together, or as together as you can be in this situation and I am what I call “waiting and dating.” We have talked about marriage but realize that God often has other things planned for us then we do (obviously) as well as the fact that I will still be out serving when he returns in June 2014.

            I don’t have my call to serve yet but will very soon. The least amount of extra waiting time between Mike and I will be 6 months but it will most likely be longer. However; what a blessing it will be for us to be in each other’s shoes, for him to experience normal life without me and for me to experience a mission on my own. What an even greater blessing it will be for us to serve the Lord together for up to a year.

            That blessing continues as I serve with not only Mike but with 12 of my closest and dearest best friends and my favorite and only sister. What an honor that really is.