2. Bread being eaten sound- you know when you can hear it like stick to peoples teeth and slosh around in their mouth? yeah. HATE that.
3. Chewing with you mouth open
4. Swallowing ridiculously loud
5. Chomping gum
6. Popping gum
7. Slurping food or drink
8. Basically any kind of eating sound- it makes me crazy
9. When someone wakes me up when I obviously didn't get much sleep
10. When people talk to me in the morning in a peppy way- there is nothing peppy about mornings
11. Brats. Any kind.
12. When people assume the world revolves around them
13. When people brag about being rich or pretty or crap. What gives you the right?!
14. When someone changes dramatically due to a new friendship
15. When people don't like the popular trend because "they only like underground" or "they are too good for that" or "It's not even good!" Of course it's not good! Why do you think it's a trend?
16. When kids try to tell me what to do. What do they know?!
17. Getting a ton of crap for being a picky eater. I know it's stupid but you don't eat food that tastes bad to you either!
18. When people give me crap for my feelings or dealing with them
19. Fake people- that's a given
20. When people talk crap on people I care about to me. Only I can do that.
I feel the need to say that I really do like things and people. I'm not a bitter old lady. I just am very...sensitive...
Today I changed it because A) I hate when people ask me to pick one song for something. Do you know how many songs there are out there?!
B) I don't know what song "inspires" me. Inspires me to do what?
So it's changed. So here we go!
1. Make You Feel My Love- Adele
This song is too good. I could listen to this all the time. Adele is one of my favorites and this song just gives me the chills.
2. Then- Brad Paisley
I love this song to death. It is just the cutest thing. Plus I love weddings and I always picture this song as a first dance song at a wedding. Then add to that it's my "Mike Song." We decided it was too hard to pick 1 song to have so we have songs for each other.
3. Owned the Night- Lady Antebellum
I love to jam to this song and it is just like a teenagers anthem. This song just makes me excited to be where I am in life. To be 19, and experiencing so many things. It's just really exciting.
4. Anything Like Me- Brad Paisley
I die listening to this song then the little kid at the end! Please! So freaking cute. I just know that this is going to happen to me one day. A kid that is just like me for payback.
5. Tattoos on This Town- Jason Aldean
This is my Logan song. Just a small town but so many things happened and in only a year. I love to think about it and how such a little place changed me in such a big way. Plus this music video is so dang cute. I'm a sucker for soldiers.
6. Cowboy Casanova- Carrie Underwood
So... this song has a really awesome story but I'm going to pass on telling it. Basically this is my "I hate boy anthem" and I love to blast it in my car and sing it freakishly loud.
7. Heart of Life- John Mayer
This song is unreal. I loved it from the moment I heard it then I loved it even more when Mike would sing it in his car on long drives back to Logan. This song somehow always made it into the round. Usually by my choice because I loved to listen to him sing it. He found that out later and had no idea. But regardless this song is crazy good. Just listen to the lyrics. Plus, I have an awesome vision of this song playing in the back of my engagement video. Yes please.
8.On a Night Like This- Dave Barnes
Holy schmoley. I love this song to pieces and honestly, I have no idea why. I have since I first heard it and it is one of those songs that you can listen to a million times and never get bored of.
9. White Blank Page- Mumford and Sons
First off, The Mums are off the chain. They are so different and still so good!! I love this song to pieces because it is just so honest. I don't know. It is just fantastic.
10. Turn To Stone- Ingrid Michaelson
Oh my heck. This song is from heaven. That is all and this dance with the video from SYTYCD is not bad either.
Disclaimer- not the whole song, but if you liked this, you'll love the whole thing
11. Kaleidoscope Heart, not the song, the entire album- Sara Bareilles.
If you haven't heard this album, go punch yourself 10 times. It is life changing. So therefore, I picked the whole album not just one song.
12. Just A Feeling- Maroon 5
This is just a feel good song, even though it's actually really sad. But I just feel good when I hear it and you can't not sing along.
13. Poison and Wine- Civil Wars
I love them, I love this song, I love the way this is put together and just all of it. The lyrics, the melody, harmonies, boy/girl duet, all of it.
14. Hold On- Michael Buble
This is song is just inspiring. It gives anyone hope and if the lyrics don't his voice will do the trick. Enjoy.
15. Some Things Are Meant To Be- Little Women
This is from the musical right before Beth dies. The 2 sisters are enjoying her last moments and each other. This song has been my go to for every audition, performance, you name it, if you haven't heard me sing it, you are not my friend. Just kidding. But really. This is song is just too good for words. Listen away.
16. If Only- Little Mermaid
This is from Little Mermaid on Broadway. I have never in my life heard a better Quartet. This song is so good and so well put together I just melt when I hear it.
17. Like I Am- Rascal Flatts
This song is just a joy. It's adorable, a great sing a long song, Rascal Flatts, cutest lyrics, fantastic melody, unreal accompaniment, harmonies. Everything is to die for.
18. For Good- Wicked/Glee
I'm giving you the Glee version because when they sing together, that key changed they added in is out of this world. I get the biggest chills everytime! This started out as my best friend and my's song in 7th grade then when I saw Wicked I loved it even more, then it was our Graduation song last year. So needless to say it means a lot of me and really is just a great song.
19. Gravity- Sara Bareilles
Everyone and their dog loves this song but that is only because it is amazing! It is so well done and Sara Bareilles has the most amazing voice. She just owns this song and that is saying something since this song is pretty amazing anyway. (Then add this dance and this song is a triple threat. So Enjoy!)
20. Take A Back Road- Rodney Atkins
This is another Logan song but this one was what we listened to at the very beginning when we were all happy, together and loving every second of being there. It also reminds me of Jaron Jason the best Bf in the world and how many things he changed in my life and the lives of those around me in the short 3 months he was around. His house was on a back road and it was perfect.
So Elder Free is officially in Washington and had his first day out in the field today! It's crazy to think that he is already out there and doing the work. It went by so fast. I haven't heard from him, obviously. But I did hear from his mom who was texting the mom he is staying with!! It was so nice to hear and see him!
Mike's mom just forwarded me their conversation. I love her. She is always thinking about me and keeps me updated. Mike is lucky enough that he gets to stay with members throughout his mission. His mission mom he is with right now sounds like a total sweetheart. She said she has a 13 and 16 year old boys and she houses missionaries so that her boys can see what it's like! How awesome is that?!
He is Vancouver right now and in a family ward. It's right across the bridge from Portland, Oregon.
It was so nice to hear and just to get the pictures and see kinda what he is doing, where he is and to know that someone is looking out for him. He is definitely in good hands.
This is his companion, Elder Carr. I know nothing about him other then his name, well last name...
Ha! The badge! I love seeing that.
This was his welcome poster and she said they gave him mint ice cream since he is a greenie! So cute.
I don't know his new address yet (other then those numbers 13010.. Some street, Vancouver WA) for those that write him but as soon as I get it I will post it for everyone!
I don't think there is a better picture to describe my dad.
Always on his phone.
He has every apple gadget the iphone has to offer.
He falls asleep like that regularly then snores so loud.
He loves Diet coke.
He loves seeds, like gross flavors of them too.
He loves the Seahawks and sits in his prized possession, the Seahawks recliner everyday.
He works so hard for our family and never lets us down.
A lot of people are scared of him, he's a little intimidating I guess.
He is the priesthood holder of our family and does a great job of that.
He is a jokester but has a serious side.
He does everything he can to be a good example for my brothers.
He loves my mom and shows me and my sister what to look for in guys.
Loves technology.
Great Dad.
Mom, Chele
Loves to paint, she's really good too!
Crazy busy all the time
Raised 5 kids starting at age 21!
And she works through all of this!
Always supportive of all of the kids.
Deals with a lot of crap.
Always has the answers
Keeps us all in line
Stays organized
Makes sure we get everything done we need to
Taxi driver, stylist, cleaner, chef, therapist, all of it.
She just keeps the house a home.
My parents are both pretty amazing and always keep everything together. I wouldn't trade anything for other parents or anything. I am so very blessed to be with the two that I got. They are the only people that really put up with all my crap, moods, volume, and still support me through all of it. I love these two and wouldn't change what I have for anything.
Also, shout out to my "other" parents out there. These people have just been my parents and given me advice when I really need it and when I needed to hear it.
** Warning- This post is a cheese fest and I will take no crap from anyone about it because you have been warned.**
While I thought about things I loved when I was little, like my blanket, a stuffed animal, my dolls, bubble gum or popsicles, I realized that for the first time since ever doing a thing like this, I had a person I could put. I'll bet you don't know who this person is? I'll show you.
Big surprise there huh? But it is true. He was and is my first love. Sure, I thought I loved some of my other flings because I was young and just assumed once you like someone for a certain amount of time, you just have to love them. That wasn't true. I figured that out when this boy came around.
Now that I think about it, it happened fast. But then I realize that we never really decided when we were officially dating. So really I'm not sure how long it took. Plus, since I've grown up with him since I was 12 we skipped the get-to-know stage in dating because we already knew that. If I had to pick a date it would be WA senior year. I took him to that dance and the kiss goodnight really sealed the deal. But before that, it was known that we like each other and everyone kind of kept their distance. So I'm really not sure but we'll go with December 12th.
Then I remember thinking "Do I love him? Really?" in mid to late January. So that was just over a month. I wasn't sure and I didn't know how to be sure but I was terrified of saying it. And feeling it. I always thought we were too young to be in love, we were 17 at this point. That is pretty young to be in love and I didn't want to be one of those dumb couples that everyone just secretly laughed at when they weren't around because we thought we were old and mature enough to be in love.
It wasn't until Valentines Day that either of us said it though. To be honest, I knew he has always kind of liked me more then I liked him. I just took more convincing, that's it. So I figured if I was saying it then it was a given he did too. (Sorry Mike :)) Really I just knew he really cared about me, it was obvious. Everyone knew that.
The two of us had gone to Park City on a whim. I said that I wanted to do something adventurous and just not think about it. So he just decided that we were going to Park City. I knew I'd get in some trouble with my parents later but I figure it was doing no harm and I would just go. He said "there is something I want to show you." We drove up this big hill and he parked and got out. I was pretty confused. We walked through the snow and wilderness and ended up on the top of a huge cement water storage bin. I stopped and looked out. The view was gorgeous. All the lights were on and main street was all lit up.
It was cold and windy but for once I didn't care. This was like from a movie. Mike knew that too. He actually said that to me and was pretty proud of how this Valentines date was turning out. We sat there and took in the sights and just thought. I could kind of see he was fidgety. He was very anxious to get up and go but I was perfectly fine just sitting there. But I obliged. I got up and thought we were just going to leave. He quickly pulled me in and gave me a hug and we just stood there for a minute. Then he finally said something.
"So, since today is love day..."
My heart was racing. I knew what was coming. Was I ready to say this to him? I just stopped and looked at him and smiled. Out of reflex, I kissed him thinking maybe I could get out of actually saying it but still giving him the peace of mind. I asked if that answered his question. He quickly said, I haven't even asked it yet! So on he went...
"Do you love me?"
I nodded and just looked at him. He had the biggest smile on his face and he just grabbed me in the biggest hug. He was one giddy kid. It was pretty funny now that I think about it.
He knew how I felt about saying this so he knew it was a big deal. Then he asked,
"So now if I say it too you won't freak out?"
Never did I even ask him if he loved me so when he said that I realized and I just out of no where my answer was,
"I love you too."
He just looked at me like I was an idiot.
He figured out that I was in a panic. But I didn't care. He just gave me a hug and we starred at all the lights that now meant so much more.
We walked back down through the snow just like normal but my mind was racing. We drove to dinner and it started to set in. It was a great day.
After breaking up with him I decided that I really didn't love him or that I didn't as much as I thought. That may have been true but I still loved him. I didn't realize then that love is never the same. You will always love them sometimes more then other times but maybe sometimes you won't like them. Or like what their choices are.
I would have never guessed that I could love him as much as I do now, just by getting to know him more through school and putting us in a whole new situation. We really relied on each other and grew to appreciate each other a lot more.
So yeah, I'm 19 and I'm in love. Say what you want but I am.
Young, dumb, and in love.
(Mat Kearney anyone?)
I don't know what I would do without this boy. He is my world. If you haven't noticed... He would do anything for me and I truly know that. He is the most amazing person. He has changed so much since we've met. Like SOO much. It's amazing. I love it when people say that to me. They would say that to me so much especially when he was getting closer to leaving. It was amazing. People would be blown away if they read his letters now. You would never believe it was the same kid. He changed the way I see everything and really has made me a better person. He's the best and I can't believe he is going to be gone for 710 more days. (Except that countdown goes down pretty fast!) I miss him everyday but I know he is doing the right thing.
So today Elder Free left the MTC and flew to Washington! While he was at the airport he got to call me!
He told me that he would be calling between 8 and 11 so I was up and ready by 8. I waited and waited and stressed about having service and that I was somehow going to miss the call. Then at about 10:30 my phone finally rang! I saw that it was an unknown number and knew it was him.
I said hello..? and he says it back just like I did. Then I freaked out and said HI!!!!
We talked about how we are doing and what we are doing.
He asked about my Study abroad.
I asked about the MTC.
It was so nice to just hear him tell me about it and how it has been difficult but an amazing experience at the same time. He just explained it as a bittersweet thing. Which I totally believe.
He just was the sweetest thing.
I was so nervous to talk to him, that he has changed too much in the MTC but I was wrong and that was a huge relief.
He was just like himself and it was so nice to see him like that.
He's nervous about getting out in the field but he's excited to get started and make it go faster. I am just as excited.
He's the cutest and it was so nice to just hear him and to hear from him. So here we go!
Hay Hay- Which inspired my blog name. This one started in 9th grade by my friends who thought it was hilarious to get my attention by saying "Hey Hay Hay!"
Shmay- My family has called me this since I was little. None of my friends really call me that or really know. Jenna does sometimes because she has been around my family enough to hear it. My family has many variations of this including Shmaylee.
Patch- Nobody believes me when I tell people this is my nickname. It was my Facebook middle name for a while and everyone gave me a ton of crap for it. When I was about 5, I got a papercut through my eye after waving a menu around at a restaurant. After going to the doctors, I had to wear a white gauze pad over my eye for a few weeks. My uncle Chad then started calling me Patch.
Hale- This was started by Lynds in high school. We were in New York and trying to stick together, the whole choir was there and it was hard to stay together. I yelled her name and when she couldn't see me she said, "Hale where the hell are you?" And because of that we joked about it the whole trip so my roommates on that trip, Jenna and Lynds, and Ellen since she was always with us call me that still. I like that one.
Baby Girl- Mike started calling me this a while ago. I don't really know where it came from either. Usually I hate pet names and stuff but I really liked this one. He called me that all the time until his brother got back from his mission and saw that was my name in his phone and thought it was hilarious to call me that so it kinda lost it's meaning. But he did write me a song and this is what it's called.
Daddy Long Legs-This one is self explanatory. I have ridiculously long legs. We were gardening one day and I said look it's me! When I saw the spider in the garden. Mal laughed so it stuck.
Susan/ Ginormica- This is from the movie "Monsters vs Aliens" The lady has super long legs and turns into a giant. And until a few years ago I was a lot taller then my family so they joked about me being so huge and there we go.
Master Wook- I honestly have no idea how this happened. I vaguely remember being really hyper and since I love Wookies, I claimed myself as Master of Wookies. I then proceeded to give everyone their own wookie names and stuff. That one was just my stupid crazy self being a spaz.
Blurry, but these pants had our wookie names on the back.
Nincompoop- This really was just one time but it's so funny I had to put it. In Jr. High I was always so hyper and I drove my mom crazy. One day in particular I was singing some annoying circus songs and my mom had asked me to stop but being hyper, I just couldn't. Long story short, she ended up dragging me by my ear to my room and scolded me by calling me a nincompoop.
Introduce, a recent picture of yourself, and 15 interesting facts
This is the most recent picture I have of just me. And this is from February. Whatever.
1. I love everything Pink. I have to eat pink candies, and if there is a choice I pick which ever thing has the most pink. It's a known fact.
2. Paris is my dream vacation. It is so perfect there. It's it's own world. A world I'm dying to see and enjoy. One day...
3. I am the youngest girl in my family. My Sister and my mom are exactly the same. They are both artsy and love the same colors and patterns and I am the exact opposite. I don't know who I am more like with my parents but I just do my own thing.
4. I used to never cry. And I mean never! For 8 years I never shed a tear. Then on my 16th birthday I lost it. I held it together after that and thought I was broken again but then Senior year and my first year at college I discovered I am definitely not broken and it doesn't take much to make me cry. Plus, I'm a sympathy cryer. So if you start, don't blame me.
5.I absolutely love weddings. I plan mine in my head everyday. I have yet to make any real decisions because there is no reason to. But when I do have a reason to, you guys are in for a treat. I love love. (Probably why I love weddings) But really. Anyone in love I just want to hug. They are adorbs. I love being in love and you can say whatever you want but it is the best feeling in the world.
6. I would die to have the life of an E! star. Like the Kardashians, Guillana Rancic, An Eastwood. Whoever. They are absolutely fabulous and have the dream life. Or anyone on Gossip Girl in real life or in Gossip Girl life... Totes.
7. I get jealous pretty easily. I will never EVER admit it. (Oh wait, did I just do that?) But little things just set me off and I just keep it inside. The only person to really notice was Mike but he just would think I was mad at him. Nope. Just me being a girl and a huge baby.
8. It is so much easier for me to get along with kids then adults. Like miles easier. I've always been the babysitter so I am around kids more. I am slowly learning how to have adult conversations. But it is hard and I get really awkward pretty fast.
9. I love to sing. Some people would be a little shocked about this I think because I rarely if ever sing in front of anyone. I sing in church but that's it. You are one of my good friends if I sing along in the car to songs with you. I just feel pressured to sound good if I sing because most people know I sing. So if I sound bad, I look stupid.
10. I get so embarrassed so easily. I don't know when this happened but I've noticed it a lot in the last few years. I turn bright red as soon as the attention is on me or if someone is making fun of me. Not because I am offended or anything, I don't care, I just get so embarrassed! Then I can feel it and it just gets worse.
11. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I have been my whole life. My parents are members and all of my family other then that too. We are a very churchy family, compared to those around me. Probably a lot to do with my Grandpa Jack who was a member of the Quorum of the 70, the president actually as well as the President of the Young Men for the church. So he was a pretty big deal and now I am very blessed to have the church in my life in the big part that it is.
12. Along with my family being very spiritual, my best friend and boyfriend is currently serving a mission for the church in Kennewick Washington. (If you read my blog other then this, you definitely already knew this) I love getting his letters and reading about his spiritual experiences and see him bear his testimony and become a whole new guy. It is amazing what the Spirit can do.
13. I attend Utah State University and love it. I love the college experience and having built in friends wherever you go. I am studying Elementary Education with a Music Emphasis. We'll see if I stick with that. But I have no idea what else I would do.
14. I am always cold, even when I'm not. I know I'm sick if I'm hot. That means something is wrong. I wear a sweatshirt and pants to bed every night and have at least 3 blankets over me and my favorite fleece Princess blanket under my head. No matter what season. In Logan I have a lot more than 3 blankets too.
15. I love my friends. I've always felt more comfortable talking to my friends about things then my family. Even my parents and sister. I'll talk but I won't really go in depth with them. It's hard enough to get me to talk about my feelings and I won't do it if I feel like the person I'm talking to is judging or just completely doesn't understand.
Guys, It was hard to narrow that down into 15 facts actually and I usually have a hard time just coming up with 15. Cool. I feel good!
So as mentioned, I'm taking the 30 days blogging challenge! Starting tomorrow I will start on my list. I would love it if you want to do it with me! I love reading peoples blogs so if you feel up to it and have a little bit of free time during each day, I would love it!!! Here's my list!
Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts. Day 2: Nicknames. Day 3: Your first love. Day 4: Your parents. Day 5: What song inspires you. Day 6: Pet peeves. Day 7: What makes you happy. Day 8: A place you’ve traveled to and where else you want to travel. Day 9: A favorite picture of your best friend. Day 10: Something you’re afraid of. Day 11: A quote you love. Day 12: Something you don’t leave the house without. Day 13: Goals. Day 14: A picture of you last year – how have you changed? Day 15: Death row meal. Day 16: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it. Day 17: Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs. Day 18: Something you miss. Day 19: Things you want to say to an ex. Day 20: Something you wonder “What if…?” about. Day 21: Something you’re proud of. Day 22: What do you want your future to be like? Day 23: Favorite Movies and TV Show. Day 24: Something you’ve learned. Day 25: Something you are looking forward to. Day 26: Your Dream Wedding. Day 27: Photo of your city . Day 28: What stresses you out? Day 29: Who is you hero? Day 30: A picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge.
But when I feel the need to blog, I usually have nothing to blog about. This is still the case.
Since my last post, which was a week ago. (That's a new record) A few things have happened but I didn't feel like blogging about it. But I will now.
I saw Mikes family 4 times in a matter of 24 hours last weekend and it was awesome. I even got to sit with them during Sacrament meeting.
I hung out with Ellen all day last Saturday and we Facebook stalked and it was hi-larious!
I babysat Tuesday-Thursday. We went bowling, swimming and just hung out. I like those days. They are busy.
I got the sweetest picture of the temple from Elder Free with the sweetest note on the back.
His mom called me on Tuesday when she saw he was online for his P-day and we stalked him and made him talk to us. That was funny.
I haven't gotten a letter from him in a week, other then the picture, I'm pretty mad about that.
He does get to call me on Tuesday though. Ahh!! What do I say?
Elder Pizza left and Ellen and I got to bond over that. We watched Monte Carlo and I loved it.
This movie made us so excited for our study abroad to London in the future.
Ellen and I bonded over having missionaries and it was nice to have someone who understood.
Peter and I watched Pearl Harbor and that made me miss Elder Free and having a boyfriend.
Peter and I layed out and got tan. That was fun. I like summer.
I watched the Last Song and had to hold in my tears since my whole family watched it with me. That made me miss Elder Free too.
The missionaries came over for dinner. Oh my heck. So funny.
I'll tell that story. They show up around 5. It was just my mom, Drew, Spence and myself that were home. They came in and said hi to everyone except me because it was obvious I was their age and a girl. They wouldn't even shake the kids hands because of the crazy rules. Awkward. One of the missionaries is a greenie and waiting for his Visa. He wasn't even supposed to be here. The other was from England and he said the funniest things! I was dying. He asked where the "rubbish bin" was. He told Jackson he like is "Futbal Booties" aka, Soccer cleats. And he informed us they had appointments until 30 into the 8 o'clock.
All of this with a British Accent. I loved it. I was laughing pretty hard. But it was pretty awkward. They were missionaries and whatever so they have an excuse.
I sang in church today and everyone says the nicest things. But so many people say them to me I just find myself saying Thank you before they even finish. So that's fun.
Mal and I ran into the missionaries probably 5 times at church and we weren't even there the whole time.
I had to sing at an old folks home as well.
We set the alarm off when we tried to get in. Whoops.
Two people sang along with me. It was hilarious. Especially when the melody or timing changed then they sang a solo. Awesome.
I started a blog for Mike and I. Just for our letters. So I'm not sharing that site unless you really want to read sappy, love letters and that's it.
But that blog makes it so I don't fell the need to blog on here so much because I have another one. How convenient.
Mal just told me I should do the 30 days of blogging so I'm taking her up on that. So you'll hear more from me. Excited? Knew it.
My cousins come in from Texas today and are spending two weeks with us. I'll let you know how that one goes....
Today, I went to two farewells for some of my pretty good friends.
First was Emerson's who is Mike's best friend.
He is going to to Conception, Chile on Wednesday.
But the MTC first.
His talk was so good.
It was about the Priesthood and how much it meant to him.
His farewell was in Mike's home ward.
I got to sit with Mike's parents for sacrament meeting. I loved that.
They are honestly the nicest people I know.
Then I went to Taylor's. Ellen boyfriends, my fiance's farewell.
He is going to Rome Italy. Fitting with his last name, Pizza.
Also on Wednesday. Also to the MTC first.
His talk was also good. Very educational.
He is very smart and is going to be a very successful missionary.
Even in the Catholic capitol of the world.
Both of these boys get to see Mike on Wednesday and I am very jealous of that.
But what is crazier is that it has been two weeks since Mike left.
It feels like just a few days, like four.
It's been so fun to be there for these two boys girlfriends and get to give them advice.
To tell them what to do and what not to.
To see them go through things and remember what that was like.
To be so glad that the farewell and the goodbyes are over. That the next thing is hello.
This whole experience is life-changing.
I'm doing things I would never do.
Like spend a Saturday night with my family,
Plan to leave the country for 5 months and be fine with it,
Remember to say my prayers at night so I can make sure Mike is being watched over,
Read the scriptures so I can learn too,
Look back on the little things and see how much they really mean.
I've loved all of this.
It's getting a lot easier because I'm starting to have my life that doesn't revolve around him.
I'm doing my own things so I'm not miserably waiting around for him.
I've started my me time.
I'm having fun and this two years is going to be fun.
Plus, I like the new relationship Mike and I have through letters.
We both say everything we want to say, without being scared.
We take our time to appreciate each other and think about each other.
Then we write about it when that happens.
We get to talk about real life things now, not just silly things that were just time fillers.
We don't have all that time now so we get down to the nitty-gritty.
It's not as bad as they say.
A little back story, a little over a year ago my Grandpa Jack passed away. You can read a little about that here. But during this time, my parents had been given this book, since both had lost a parent in their lives. My dad's more recently.
Fast forward to Tuesday...
While blog stalking to pass the time I checked Mike's sister-in-law's blog and found that their Grandpa, Grandpa Clair, had passed away that day.
They knew this was coming and had for a while. That does not make it any easier.
I was heartbroken. Especially since I knew how much he meant to Mike and now he had missed the last week with him.
I told my mom about this and she immediately said, "Oh I have to get them this book!"
I was a little weirded out by this idea.
She not only wanted to give Mike's parents a copy but also Mike.
I've never seen Mike read a book and I was pretty sure he wasn't going to start on his mission while he is so busy already.
She was so adamant about this and we bought the books.
When we got home I had a letter from Elder Free. So I opened it and wondered what he had to say this time.
It broke my heart to see that the majority of the letter was him wishing to be home spending time with his Grandpa. He had obviously written it before his Grandpa had passed but still.
I read that letter just a few short hours after I had heard the news and I wondered if he even knew yet.
It seriously broke my heart and I was speechless. (For once I was grateful for letters and the chance they give me to figure out what to say.)
It was then that I decided I needed to read this book before I sent it to him.
I read it in one night. It's less then 150 pages and a super easy read though.
It is about a man whose body is in a coma but his spirit travels to life after death. He gets to experience so many things.
The whole book is about how our family members that have passed help us in our daily lives in mortality.
While reading, I got to a point when it all hit me.
"Certain members of each family chose, long ago, before this life, to die and come to this realm (Paradise) that they might better help their families endure the challenges to come... many powerful, wonderful spirits are being called home right now, that they can better help their families prepare for that which is about to take place your world."
That was it. His Grandpa had been sick for a while and I was amazed by how long he fought through his sickness. He sent his grandson out on a mission, went with him through the temple, was there when he was set apart and said their final goodbyes that Wednesday. Then a week later, he passed.
I really think it is to be Mike's companion on his mission. He wasn't just sending him off, he was preparing himself. He will be helping Mike through a hard two years and I know it isn't a coincidence that Grandpa Clair passed when he did.
This book really proved that to me. It will for you too. Just read it. It's worth it. (That says a lot coming from a girl who hates reading.) It will change your perspective on death and really make it clear that this is not the end. Not even close.
Alright guys, Here comes more mission mania. But this time a little different.
Today I really tried to dwell on the good things about this because lately it has been really easy to forget how amazing this experience is.
I cried and begged and gossiped and worried about him not going for months, years! And now he is there, a real missionary, Elder Free, and he is loving it.
I'm not going to lie, I always kind of assumed he was going to hate it at first. Not because he would be a "bad missionary" but because he hates being told what to do, it's a huge adjustment, it's all church-all day, he's away from his friends, he's such a momma's boy, and he decided to go so fast- I just never really thought he really knew what he was getting himself into. I don't even know what he's gotten into!
But today, I really just thought about how much of a blessing it is that he is happy, at least he was when I got his letter (We won't talk about how I didn't get an email back today. Monday=Pday. And yet, nothing) But how it sounded like it only took him a day to feel comfortable with being a missionary. How he already has a love for the work and the people. How he is having amazing experiences. And how his first letter was primarily about Christ and his love for us with a challenge to try and feel that love for people around me.
That's right. Mike Elder Free, challenged me, in his first letter.
It was really amazing to see that side of him and to see him enjoying it and really getting the most out of this.
He really is going to be a great missionary and we aren't even a full week into this. (I know you guys just got really excited because you realized you still have 103 weeks of blog posts like this. Yay!)
So today, while I was thinking about how happy he is, I decided it's my turn.
He is out there, finding things that make him happy and growing up, maturing, creating life.
So I need to do the same.
Before, we were each others happy. We knew what he had to do if one of us had a bad day or just needed a friend. We kept each other enjoying life and staying happy.
Now we don't get that. So I'm making it my responsibility to find what makes me happy, besides him. That is what he gets to do for 2 whole years. So instead of just moping around, I'm going to enjoy myself.
It's summer. I'm 19. Newly single (kind of...) and have a full life ahead of me so I'm going to make sure it's a good one.
I'm going to do things that I enjoy, even if that means staying in my pajamas all day and watching my favorite shows. (Kardashians, Gossip Girl season 5 anyone?)
I'm going to have my adventures so that I will have something to tell him about when he is back instead of just him.
If we are going to change, we may as well do it together.
So here we go. I'm sure there will be some bad days and you will hear all about them. But I'm going to make an effort to enjoy this.
I'll make new friends, try new things, make new memories, go on adventures (study abroad anyone?!) and be happy!
