Ten Tips for Colds in College

Guys when your are sick at college it is the worst. And I'll tell you why.

First- your roommates aren't sick and don't want to be so you get quarantined into your room all day.

Now that usually wouldn't be that bad but it's hotter than snot in here.

 but you know snot isn't hot because you've had more than your fair share of it lately.

Second- No one cares if you miss school. So when you wake up sick and you start to think,

"Oh Yay! Sick day! I can stay home from school and watch lots of tv and never have a care in the world!!"

And then you realize,

"Crap! I can't be sick, I have to go to class! I have math today and I can't fail that again! 

That's when you throw on your winter coat because your fever has made you freezing and walk your sorry little butt across campus to your math class.

Third- You can't breathe through your nose, no matter how many Sudafed's and Dayquil's you take, there is just too much crap in there, and it never stops. 

So, you have to sit there in class with your mouth open like an idiot just so you can breathe.

Fourth- Because of that open mouthed breathing thing your lips getting unbelievably chapped but you don't want to use your chapstick because then it's going to be infected and you can never use it again.

Fifth- Toilet paper is on high demand around the house. Only one bathroom actually still has some in it. So every time you  have to go blow your nose you try and use the tiniest bit you can.

Then it gets all over your hands and face and just... ew.

You should have gone to Lee's earlier for some Ultra plush, Extra soft Kleenex's that were on sale.

Sixth- In college you eat crappy food already. Chick Nuggs, Grilled Cheese, Quesadillas, Peanut Butter Sandwichs and Mac&Cheese are the only thing you have. But since you have that disgusting sick taste in your mouth that all sounds 50 times less appetizing then it did before. 

This is why you eat Eggo's for every meal.

Seventh- You get really bored because no one really wants to come near you so they don't get infected so you end up with a lot of free time. So you watch about two hours worth of Youtube videos. 

Even though you do have homework...

Eighth- You worry about feeding your fish that really isn't your fish because you are babysitting it for 2 years while the owner of the fish is on a mission. If you pick up the fish food with your contaminated, germy hands and drop it in the bowl for him to eat, am I condemning him to death? 

We get swine flu from pigs, who says fish don't get human flu??

Ninth- You don't want to get ready because after all, you're sick! But if you go to campus looking like you do, people are going to stare. And that is the last thing you need. Really. You already feel dumb because your head feels like it is ballooning to 4 times it's size and your sniffing like a man every 3.8 seconds. You don't need people to stare.

Tenth-And in my opinion the worst one. Your mom nor your boyfriend are here to take care of you. They're not. There is no one here to make you soup, to go to the store and buy you gatorade and more meds or Kleenex's. No one to sit around with you all day so you don't feel like such a loser, and no one to put a new movie in when the other one ends.